I read Steve Harvey's acclaimed book, Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man. I actually appreciated his insights, however, the school of thought in his book sounds quite aged. By aged, I mean outdated. At one point in the book, I believe he actually advised women in relationships to give their mates an ultimatum; to force a man who has proposed to set a wedding date, or to tell a man who hasn't proposed that if he doesn't do so by such and such date that you will break up with him. This advice made me cringe because I have heard countless men threaten to haul ass at the first sign of an ultimatum from a woman. But you know what? Maybe even calling it "dated" may be wrong, because "back in the day", I don't think a woman would have had to give an ultimatum. Mind you, this is before chivalry died and when men still believed in courtship (has that ever been true? If so, why couldn't I have been born back then?!?!).
My problem with ultimatums is that if you put that much pressure on someone to marry you, would you really want to marry them? Consider the reason that they would propose. They certainly wouldn't be ready to marry you. They'd be doing it out of sheer fear that you would leave them. Then, the first time that you had a marital disagreement, they would second-guess their decision to marry you. Even the smallest disagreements would seem torrential because that constant pressure would always be the veritable "elephant in the room", no? I, personally, would never want anyone to marry me out of pressure or fear that I would leave. I want and NEED to believe that my potential husband is absolutely 100% ready to marry me and WANTS to marry me...and no one else. I would want him to have exhausted all other potential before he commits himself to me.
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